Eat Pierogi Make Love

161 Lygon St
Brunswick East, VIC 3057
https://eatpierogimakelove.com/

Let’s be real here: as cute as the name Eat Pierogi Make Love is, has anyone ever felt like making love after eating a plate of those stodgy little devils? But I digress – the name is actually a rather fitting one for this bustling little diner, opened by an adorable husband-and-wife outfit keen to bring traditional Polish eats to inner Melbourne. Polyamory is encouraged here, as bookings are only available for groups of 5 or larger, and a crowd will also allow room to try a few more of Poland’s notoriously heavy dishes. But don’t worry – there’s enough smaller bites on the menu to cater to the twosomes, or even the solo adventurer; no one will be left wanting here (wink wink).

Rating: 13.5/20 – eat pierogi make love (like, 3 days later).
Must-order: I hear their large range of vodkas are good, but no matter what you order, make sure you get the plate of 3 mixed side salads – they are essential and you won’t regret it.

Let’s talk about the pierogi first, eh? The Kielbasa Pierogi ($26, 8pcs) is every carnivore’s dream, the filling of sausage and cheese boasting enormous meaty, smoky flavours, all wrapped in chewy pan-fried dough. But who on earth decided this needed sour cream? Yes I know it’s traditional but wtf.

On the ‘lighter’ end of the pierogi spectrum is the classic Ruskie Pierogi ($24, 8pcs), with a soft filling of potato and twarog cheese and gently boiled. If you love carb-on-carb, this is the way to go.

If you care about yourself at all, you’ll pair the pierogi with one of the side salads – or better still, get all three. Not only is the Zestaw Surowek ($15) a rainbow of deliciousness, it is also utterly essential for cutting through the stodge. The sweet beetroot salad is the favourite, but it’s closely followed by the refreshing cucumbers in sour cream, as well as the traditional sauerkraut.

Aside from pierogi, there’s also a good selection of snacks – or as they call it, food for Wódka. The Makrela ($9ea) was an unexpected hit, the mackerel and cheese paste reminiscent of a rich taramasalata on rye, topped with delicately pickled cucumber and beets for balance.

The Pasztet ($9ea) on the other hand lacked the punch I had hoped for, the pate of pork, beef, and liver not nearly as bold as I had expected, and ran the risk of getting lost under the tangy cucumber and tomato salad.

The only true disappointment of the night was the Kalafior ($16). This had the potential to be so, so good, but unfortunately the baked cauliflower just didn’t reach the level of caramelisation required to work its magic, and as a result, was bland and uninspired, even with a chunky green Polish salsa. Should’ve taken the staff’s advice and ordered the potato and sauerkraut fries instead.

Things turned around with the Kaszanka na Babce ($18) – a rich, earthy black pudding served on a satisfyingly warm and stodgy potato babka. The sauerkraut, by now, is a given.

Even for those who love vodka, I urge you to look to the non-alcoholics for the Kompot ($8). A traditional Polish drink of stewed and brewed fruit, this is deliciously clean and light drinking, the sweetness of ripe fruit warmed with a note of anise.