Five Guys

QV Melbourne
228 Lonsdale St
Melbourne, VIC 3066
https://www.fiveguys.com.au/

Backstreet’s back, ALRIGHT! Now that my ICU exams are well and truly done (the first one anyway, and this is assuming I pass, which for the sake of my wallet I really hope I do, because it’s $6000 per sitting, but I digress), I can finally get back to my side gig as a glutton. And what better way to ease back into gluttony than with Five Guys, the all-American chain where all burgers come with a double patty, and all the complimentary garnishes you can stuff between two buns? Honestly? This was both better and worse than I had expected. Despite being a fast-food chain, the ingredients are fresh, and there’s an open kitchen where you can see the staff actually cooking proper burgers to order. Despite that however, the burgers lacked the pizzaz you get from a restaurant-quality counterpart, despite the restaurant-level pricing. Their fries and milkshakes however? Definitely lives up to the hype.

Rating: 12.5/20 – the restaurant playlist is great, and you can find them on spotify
Must-try: dipping the fries into a shake – even if you’re not usually a fan (me), this should be the exception to the rule.

The deal here is that there are only a couple of very basic burgers on the menu, but you have the option to customise them with as many extras as you want, and it’s all included in the price. I got my Cheeseburger ($19.9) with a relatively unimaginative combination of lettuce, tomato, pickles, tomato sauce, and mustard. All in all, it’s on the mediocre side, with slightly overdone patties and very much under-melted cheese. Despite that however, the heft of it was satisfying, and it definitely hit the burger craving.

For the sake of research, the Bacon Cheeseburger ($20.9) was constructed with pickles, grilled onions, jalapenos, ketchup, and mustard. For some reason, this lacked oomph despite the bolder ingredient selection, but the proper crispy American bacon was a nice touch.

The Original Fries ($6.9, small) are a little underdone, but had a great potato flavour, and the portion was admirable. The best part of the meal however was easily the Milkshake ($10.9), which like the burger, you can construct with any and all of the 9 available flavours. And let me tell you: the banana and peanut butter with whipped cream is the way to go. It struck the ideal balance between thick and decadent, whilst still slurpable and not too sweet. It also doubled as a sensational dip for the fries, and I am not usually a fry-dipper (team tomato sauce all the way!).